I don’t know about you, but today more than ever before, there’s an abundance of virtue signaling. There’s always someone shouting about how good they are, how much recycling they’ve done, that they’ve switched to vegan toothpaste, they’ve done 20’000 steps today and its still the morning… blah blah. We’re bombarded with messages about the importance of being selfless, we are told to put others before ourselves, to be kind and compassionate, and to always think of the greater good. While these are all admirable qualities, it is important to remember that being selfish can also be good.
If you’re triggered right now, don’t be. I’m not saying all of they above is bad, but you don’t have to shout about it. Whatever happened to humility, being quiet and unassuming or even better anonymous acts of selflessness!
There are a number of reasons why being selfish can be beneficial. First, it helps you to focus on your own needs and wants. When you are constantly putting others before yourself, it can be easy to neglect your own needs, eventually leading feelings of resentment, anger, and frustration. By taking some time for yourself to focus on your own needs, you can improve your overall well-being. You’ve heard the rule on an airline right? Put your mask on before you help others!
Second, being selfish can help you to set boundaries. When you are always willing to help others, it can be difficult to say no. This can lead to you feeling overwhelmed and stressed. By learning to set boundaries, you can protect your time and energy for the things that are important to you.
Third, being selfish can help you to build self-confidence. When you are constantly putting others before yourself, it can be easy to lose sight of your own worth, parents included, controversial for some, but again I’m not talking about abandonment of your responsibilities. By taking some time to focus on your own needs and accomplishments, you can boost your self-confidence and self-esteem and it follows you’ll be more help to others with this elevated sense of self worth.
Of course, there is a difference between being selfish and being self-absorbed. Being selfish means putting your own needs and wants first, even if it means hurting or neglecting others. Being self-absorbed means only thinking about yourself and your own needs, regardless of the impact on others.
It is important to strike a balance between being selfish and being self-absorbed. When you are too selfish, you will likely end up hurting the people around you. But when you are too self-absorbed, you will miss out on the opportunity to build strong relationships and live a fulfilling life.
So, don’t be afraid to be selfish sometimes. It can be good for you. Just remember to be mindful of the needs of others and to strike a balance between your own needs and the needs of those around you.
Here are a few tips for being selfish in a healthy way:
Set boundaries. Learn to say no to things that you don’t want to do. This will help you to protect your time and energy for the things that are important to you.
Take care of yourself. Make sure that you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. When you take care of yourself, you will have more energy and focus to give to others.
Do things that make you happy. Make time for activities that you enjoy, even if they don’t involve other people. When you do things that make you happy, you will feel more positive and fulfilled.
Be honest with yourself about your needs. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It is okay to admit that you can’t do everything on your own.
Being selfish can be a good thing. It can help you to focus on your own needs, set boundaries, build self-confidence, and live a more fulfilling life. So, don’t be afraid to be selfish sometimes. Just remember to be mindful of the needs of others and to strike a balance between your own needs and the needs of those around you.
You’re welcome x
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